Family Matters!
The minister said to a young couple on their wedding day, “Man fell but marriage did not. Whatever God intended marriage to be then he intends for marriage to be now.” Does it not appear that the home and marriage have drifted far from God’s original intent? The Bible says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24 NIV). “The family is an institution that God crafted. Scripture says very plainly that it starts with a husband and a wife and includes their children. The family is the essential center of culture and society; it’s where culture and society have their origins. The core of a solid family is marriage founded in the rock that is Jesus Christ.” (Richard Land, Faith & Family)
Dr Fred Lowery, in Covenant Marriage, gives us a statistical snapshot of marriage in America. The median age for divorce is 28. Bible-Belt states lead the nation in divorce. Sixty-five percent of new marriages end in divorce. Fifty-five percent of children will see their parents divorce before they leave home. The number of unmarried parents living together increased 72 percent in the last decade. By the year 2010, it is estimated that America will have more stepfamilies than traditional nuclear families. Yet 81 percent of divorced and separated Americans still believe that marriage should be for life.
The traditional home has been and is under major attack. This barrage intensified in the last quarter of the 20th century and continues unabated unto now. To withstand this assault the current myths about marriage and family must be challenged and destroyed. Also, the youth of America must be convinced that marriage is a covenant and not just a contract.
The myth of cohabitation, living together before or in place of marriage, must be exposed for what it is ó Sin. Cohabiting couples have increased from just over half a million in 1970 to 4.2 million in 1998. It is estimated that over 50 percent of marriages are preceded by cohabitation, and a recent poll found that 56 percent of Americans thought it was acceptable for engaged couples to live together prior to marriage. Almost 60 percent of high school seniors found this practice acceptable.
Researchers have concluded that: coahabitors report higher levels of alcohol problems than married people; aggression is twice as common among coahabitors; depression rates are three times greater; children living with coahabitating biological parents who are unmarried are 20 times more likely to be abused; and when a mother who lives with a boyfriend who is not the biological father, the children are 33 times more likely to be abused than children
living with married biological parents (Bridget Maher, Family Research Council). All the evidence destroys the myth that “it is a good idea for a couple to live together before getting married in order to find out whether they really get along.“
Another popular but faulty concept is that “Dads aren’t needed.” Ten years ago, then Vice President Dan Quayle criticized actress Candace Bergen’s “Murphy Brown” TV character for mocking the importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and calling it just another lifestyle choice. Bergen states, “I never have really said much about the whole episode, which was endless. But his speech was a perfectly intelligent speech about fathers not being dispensable and nobody agreed with that more than I did.” (Clarion Ledger, 7/12/02)
The National Fatherhood Initiative reports that children with involved, loving fathers are significantly more likely to do well in school, have healthy self-esteem, exhibit empathy and pro-social behavior, and avoid high-risk behaviors such as drug use, truancy, and criminal activity compared to children who have uninvolved fathers. British sociologist Patricia Morgan writes, “Children reared in a home with a married mother and father do far better than children in other circumstances” (Christianity Today, July 8, 2002).
A major concern for all is the attempt to legitimize and accept any lifestyle as normal. These efforts must be challenged because they are a direct contradiction to God’s word. The gay and lesbian community attempts through the media, public education and legislation to force us to accept their behavior as an alternate but normal lifestyle. Their goal is to have the same benefits and privileges as a married husband and wife. In many states more homosexuals are seeking custody or adoption of young children. Right now only Florida, Mississippi and Utah explicitly ban homosexuals from adoption.
The family does matter. Neil Warren said, “Marriage is the greatest institution ever invented! It can be good, or it can be great, but it should never be ordinary.” The time has come for churches, ministers, and the Christian family at large to advocate “Covenant Marriage.” Covenant is the heart of marriage, and sacrifice is the heart of covenant” (Covenant...Marriage, Dr. Fred Lowery). The question is not “how much must I do?” but “how much can I do?” to make marriage what God intended.
You can learn more about “Covenant Marriage” at http://www.covenantmarriage.com. Dr. Lowery’s book can be ordered through The Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission by calling 1-800-475-9127.